Featured Photo: Two failing, amateur second grade ballerinas
The opening season of dance theater for Miss Molly’s 2nd Grade class at Hamilton Elementary was smashed to smithereens as a column in the Fifthnight Post came to print Monday morning. Phillip Maryweather, an independent theater critic, wrote the review after seeing the opening show Friday evening. Phillip’s review reads below:
I was first held hostage by the musty smell of old seat cushions and the greasy permeations of buttered popcorn floating around the rows of chairs in the audience section. Hamilton has certainly let their once noble, hallowed halls depreciate over the last 100 years of education and it is a decay that can be heard in every squeak and creak of the wooden stage boards. As I sat among the single mothers and camera wielding fathers I felt less taken in by the dark and more claustrophobic with the nudging and bumping of undersized arm rests.
The music began late, after an overdramatized narrative from Miss Molly herself brought the buzzing audience to a quiet whisper. The narrative, an almost tearful plea for more funding and more volunteers to bring more life to the future productions. The first ballerina missed her cue, the second fell off of the stage. What I believe were supposed to be mice were dressed in no more than felt paper and glue.
There was no life in the dancers, stiff and without whimsey, they moved sluggishly across the stage, some of them in a hunched shoulder pout as you could see miss Molly coaching them from just behind the curtain. Completely unprofessional performance and I’ll be contacting the Actor’s Equity Association.
The whole production, lasting only thirty minutes, came to a harrowing end when the nutcracker’s poorly attached head fell from the shoulder’s of the principal, Mr. Fletcher, and flew out into the audience hitting one of the dancer’s grandmother, who sat in the audience, sending her into a coma.
I’ve never been more disappointed by amateurs and will be bringing a plastic shield to the next production.
The production was a single show at Hamilton Elementary. More productions to follow this school year, production names and dates will be sent home to families via a classroom newsletter from Miss Molly.
Not an actual News Media Post/For entertainment purposes only
