CIA Files Suit Against China Over Use of Trademark Warfare Tactics

Featured Photo: Actual CIA agent throwing actual fit

Lawmakers warn of a large scale threat from China as its reach expands within the Roads and Belt trade and travel coalition and its oversight of internet platforms through corporate/political ties. It’s been recently observed that through data collection and social media manipulation China’s nefarious presence and expedited technological advances may be stemmed from more than simple economics.

Yet, those tactics aren’t foreign to the development of the US’ own security and defense branches.

“It’s like they copy n’ pasted pages right out of our playbook.” Stated a CIA official.

The CIA are known for covert and public operations that secure the safety and welfare of our country’s defense. Per the CIA website: The CIA collects, evaluates, and disseminates vital information on economic, military, political, scientific and other developments abroad to safeguard national security. Having been conceived in 1947, the CIA are a highly respected branch of America’s national security.

“Listen, since Truman’s conception of the CIA, control of the general population has been at the forefront of CIA covert operations. We were experimenting with manufactured consent before it was mainstream, from IMINT to project Mockingbird. It just isn’t fair that China gets to take all the credit for coming up with psychological warfare when we parented it from day one! That’s our baby.” Our source goes on to say, “It’s our IP! We’re not going to sit idly by and watch our same programs oppress and manipulate the people we spent nearly a century learning how to oppress and manipulate. It’s a blatant theft of trademark tactics and China will have to answer in a court of justice.

Top CIA officials have filed a civil suit claiming ownership of these trademark tactics and await a response from China.

China has not yet responded to our request for comment.

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