Featured Photo: Intoxicated CEO dressed as a Pandorian
You can hide nothing from the probing eyes of the public, as Depreshun Savings Inc. cofounder and CEO recently found out when pictures of his choice in company Halloween party attire surfaced this last weekend. A bang up ball usually reserved for the higher levels of the Depreshun Savings staff with an open bar and who knows what else given the other most recent revelation that the inner cliques enjoy gluten rich foods, disposable paper plates, paper cups and real meat in their sandwiches. A smorgasbord for the rich, non awake culture of high society.
To top the big top circus that Drepeshun has become, Aaron Runner, who cofounded the ever growing savings giant only two months ago from the basement of his mom’s luxurious second floor penthouse in upper east Manhattan, showed up at the ball half dressed as the iconic Pandorian Avatar. As soon as the pictures hit the internet the Twitter came to all of Pandora’s rescue with a storm of tweets tagged #StopRunner.
His appropriation of the fragile world so far out of our atmosphere, plagued by money hungry unobtanium miners and explorers just looking for a little outerspace action hit the advocates for cultural awareness right smack dab in the feelings.
Runner has released a statement apologizing to the public and the people of Pandora in a hand written letter in Crayola crayon saying:
Dear Twitter: My actions on Holloween we’re completeley insentsitive, I’m completeley humbled and I won’t inapropriate a foreing culture ever again. Promise. Love Aaron Runner
The CEO posted the handwritten love letter on Twitter, we assume in hopes that the Twitter storm will end and he can return to his gluten filled bagels and paper coffee cups, but he and his associates have yet to issue a statement to the press.
Disclaimer: Not a real News Article. For comedic purposes only.
